


More Than I Bargained For

by lady_meatball



Series: Thanksgiving in Boston [1]
Category: American Actor RPF, Chris Evans (Actor) RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Gen, Miscarriage, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 07:14:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8480485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_meatball/pseuds/lady_meatball
Summary: After a week of dealing with finding out about her unexpected pregnancy as she miscarried in the Atlanta bathroom on her own, Katie heads to Boston to spend the holiday with Chris and his family where she finally tells him what happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Katie heads back to Boston for the week of Thanksgiving, flying in late the Saturday night before to meet up with Chris for what he has planned before going to his mom’s house, but ‘Sunday Funday’ proves to be the roughest day yet since ‘it’ happened when she can’t find the words to tell him what happened after he dropped her off at the airport. Chris introduces her to a couple of famous friends, and when things take a turn he wasn’t expecting, Chris realizes just how serious things are when they fight.
> 
> Warning- Angst, deliberate acts of punishment, mention of miscarriage

[Originally posted by yahoosports](https://tmblr.co/Z6cvNv1t_QP5Q)

Chris had sent me a message after parting at Logan from the few days spent back in Boston with his family over the Halloween weekend, it was ominous and vague, reading-

**Clear your schedule from the Saturday before Thanksgiving through the Sunday after Turkey Day. I have a surprise for you.**

Staring at the screen of my phone with huge eyes and my forehead raised, I typed back that I had the week free of clients and would just have to get my shifts at the coffee shop covered, but it wouldn’t be a problem.

* * *

That was almost three weeks ago, and a lot had happened in the last seven days alone…now, I was at McCarren, heading to my terminal with my travel bag for my flight to Boston, unaware of what Chris had up his sleeve and irritated about his constant reminders in the last two days since taking most of the last week off from communicating of what was to come once he collected me from the hotel room.

The flight was uneventful, which I was thankful for after the last time I was in an airport, traveling alone and once I was back on the ground, suitcase in hand, I made my way to the hotel room Chris had booked for me to catch some sleep while waiting for his flight to arrive from Atlanta in the mid morning hours.

“Alright, you ready for Sunday Funday, Babe?” Chris asked as he handed over a large cup from Dunkin; accepting his thoughtful gesture, I offered him a tired, tiny smile as I pulled the tab from the lid, lifting the cup for a drink as he leaned down to kiss my forehead before setting his cup on the nightstand and heading for the bathroom.

Honestly, I wasn’t. I woke up in a terrible state, my grief and emotions overwhelming me with the sudden finality of having to tell him, having to explain…I had avoided looking at pictures of him as much as possible because seeing his face killed me, breaking my heart all over again with the knowledge he wanted to be father, and wanted it, like, yesterday.

I was so drained-emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually from the events of the last week, and he wasn’t aware of anything because I kept it a secret, and him at arm’s length.

Plastering on the best attempt at a smile I could muster once I heard the toilet flush and he reappeared a moment later, I played along as best I could even though I still felt like absolute and utter dog shit and was stuck in my head with trying to figure out how to tell Chris about the previous Sunday and the aftermath of what happened in the airport restroom. I really just wanted to be alone, to work through the emotions and allow myself more time to process and grieve, but he was so excited about whatever he had planned, and I loved him, so I went along with whatever he had planned before my world fell out from under my feet…

“Thank you-” I told him, holding up the coffee as he walked over to my suitcase to look at what I brought, riffling in my clothes. Looking up, he smiled over at me, his blue eyes warm and soft as I added, “-how’d you know a raspberry white mocha was going to hit the spot?”

“‘Cause I know you love them, and I thought I’d bring you a treat since I know how you are when you get woken up…” He laughed, turning back to the task at hand. “What were you planning on wearing today?”

“Comfy stuff…jeans, a t-shirt, chunky sweater probably, why?” I frowned over my cup, wishing I could curl up in the warmth it radiated into my hands.

“That’ll have to do…” He sighed, stepping back from my my suitcase to set his on the bed; unzipping it, he pulled a shirt and sweatshirt from the case before shrugging out of his jacket, whipping off his shirt and changing into the worn cotton representing his football team before shoving his other clothes back into the depths of his luggage and zipping it up. I heard him mutter, “Thank Gahd…no logos.”

* * *

I hadn’t realized it straight away, not paying attention to anything going on as I stared blankly out the windshield, but I eventually noticed we hadn’t taken the route Chris drove last time I came to visit, signs for Gillette Stadium beginning to note the remaining distance to the exit.

“Chris…I’m not in the mood for this…” I told him truthfully, irritated and prickly beyond measure once I realized he was headed straight to the stadium and his surprise was catching the game.

“It’s football! You love football! How can you not be in the mood for a game?” He asked without paying much attention, navigating traffic at the freeway exit. It had already begun, eyes glazed over with a glint of craziness, aggressive displays and body language while yelling at the people in cars ahead of us…his football mania had taken over and he was focused solely on getting to the game.

“I’m just **NOT** , okay?” I snapped, turning away shamefully before adding softly, “I got a lot of shit on my mind, and I’d rather not be around a stadium full of people right now…”

Chris laid on the horn, bursting out in anger at the block of people about half a dozen cars up that stalled the line. He did a tiny double take, glancing over at me as I sat tapping my nails on the handle of the rented car door, irritated, frustrated and wishing I was anywhere but there in that moment.

“Not even if it’s your Forty Whiner’s playing my Pats?” Chris asked, teasing me which just got under my skin even more. He was so excited and happy to see me after almost a full week of not talking to me, let alone not seeing me, he was oblivious to anything else but me by his side and the promise of football ahead of him, and it was like another shovel of earth compacting the foul mood I woke up in and having to fight my emotions every second while my brain whizzed and spun on how to tell him, making for the worst day since it happened.

“I don’t give two shits who’s playing Chris-” I spat angrily, turning towards the window as I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the headache beginning to take shape.  Sneering over my shoulder, I asked, “Let me guess, we’re sitting in the Owner's’ Box? Big fucking surprise…”

“What the fahk is going on with you? Why are you acting like this, Babe?” Chris turned, shifting in his seat to look at me.

“I told you, I’m just not in the fucking mood for this right now…I honestly don’t want to be at the game, surrounded by people, loud noises…”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? I think I have a right to know, since I am your boyfriend, and you’ve been acting strange all week…first the whole ‘let’s take a break’ thing, then all the ominous shit you kept saying whenever we DID talk, now this…”

“I don’t think this is the best time to discuss this Chris.” I shot over my shoulder at him, curling up on myself in my bucket seat. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather just spend the day in car once you park…”

“No. You’re coming inside, it’s not exactly safe for you to stay out here by yourself with people tailgating, Babe…just come up to the box, please?”

“Whatever…” I whispered, closing my eyes for a mini cat nap while he muttered under his breath, cursing out the people holding up the line into the parking lot.

* * *

Sitting on a couch at the back of the booth, I stared at my phone, returning emails and working on paperwork, attempting to block out the sounds of the game going on, but Chris’ loud shouts and laughter kept being punctuated by the songs I grew up listening to as they rang out around the field, grating on my frazzled and frayed nerves; I couldn’t focus, couldn’t concentrate on making progress in invoicing and follow up emails to clients, so I gave up, pushing up off the cushions, making my way to the bar for a drink.

‘May as well, not like it matters anymore…’ I thought, bitterly as I waited for the beer I ordered; the sight of the top shelf liquors held me frozen, the Grey Goose taunting me with memories of the weekend prior, both good and bad. Taking the bottle as soon as it was set in front of me, I turned away, seeking solitude on the couch further back in the box, away from people.

I spent the rest of the game maintaining the numbing buzz that kept me from feeling the hollowness I had become accustomed to in the last week. Chris checked on my periodically, and didn’t particularly find the customization of my shirt as funny as I did-by the time the first half closed out, I had snuck off to the bathroom with a sharpie and the white v-neck shirt I wore under my sweater; walking out of the restroom just after the start of the half time show, the shirt now read in my almost drunk, sloppy writing, _‘Being held against my will by a Pats fan with a raging Brady boner…_ ’ scrawled over the front and ‘ _Send help, I’ll buy you beer._ ’ across the back.

“Put your sweater on.” Chris growled, growing irritated and embarrassed with the team’s management only a few feet away at the buffet; he grabbed my arm, pulling me to the side for a private conversation. “The fahk, Babe? I know you don’t want to be here, but at least pretend you’re having fun! These people are my friends, and quite frankly, you’re embarrassing me!”

Staring at him, I laughed bitterly, my buzzed mind finding something funny in the situation and my broken heart saw red, taking his plea as a confession of his hiding our relationship as some convenient booty call despite his numerous reassurances of his happiness, love and devotion…the little voice of doubt whispering in my ear had all my insecurities back at the forefront, and had my life turned upside down in utter chaos in the last seven days.

“This isn’t funny, Katie! They know you’re a San Francisco fan, and there were a lot of questionable looks from the them as it was, but this shirt…why would you do that?” He hissed, leaning in close; his hand gripping my upper arm tight as he gave me a small shake; I flinched at the biting hold as his thumb and forefinger pinched nerves. Instantly, he loosened his grip, eyeing me cautiously as he offered a soft apology.

“Because, I told you, I don’t fucking care…” I told him flatly, completely indifferent.

“Bullshit. You’re well on your way to being drunk, and I don’t wike it! Sober up, we’ve got people to see once the game’s over…and I’m not introducing you smashed off your ass and depressed. Can you at least pretend to be having fun? For me, please?”

“Oh…you want me happy and smiling, and bubbly? I’m sorry, I forgot that my inner thoughts, feelings and emotions are catered to your every whim…Hows’s this?” I spat, going from my indifference to a huge plastered on fake smile, bouncing with energy as I tossed my ponytail over my shoulders, over exaggerating my California Valley Girl Cheerleader on crack impression. Asking with disdain dripping in my voice, I inquired, “Will that do, Chris? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I don’t know what the fahk you’re problem is right now, but it’s starting to piss me off…knock it off.” He growled before adding, “I wanted to have a fun afternoon with you, watching our teams go head to head, get to be competitive, and bond after last week, and you shitting all over my gesture isn’t appreciated…so, either snap out of your emo, moping, pity party and be nice so I can introduce you to my friends, or call a fakhing cab to take your ass to Ma’s to pout…’cause you’re not sixteen anymore, and I’m not doing this right now!”

Chris left it at that, walking back to the other people in the box, the seething energy radiating off of him in waves crystal clear to my eyes; being so attuned to him, I could see the further he got from where he left me, the bigger his ‘red carpet smile’ got.

“Fuck you, you insensitive prick…” I whispered, wiping my eyes for the umpteenth time in the last seven days as I turned back to the bathrooms to let out tears I was amazed I still had before pulling myself together. Closing the door behind me once I collected myself, I slipped off to the merchandise booths to buy a new shirt, feeling miniscule and hanging my head in shame and defeat as a roar sounded from the crowd as the entertainment wrapped up their show.

* * *

Walking back into the box, I wore a heather grey tank with the San Francisco logo stretched across my chest, hidden under my chunky sweater. My wallet was forty dollars lighter, and my white shirt now resided in a garbage can on the retail and food levels; I decided that keeping the buzz going strong and focusing on the music, I could at least make it seem like I had too much to drink and now was in my own little world without scaring off the other men and women in the V.I.P. section…there was far too much contact with other people for my liking, but it went along with being at a game with Chris.

With the final whistle of the game, the other occupants erupted in happiness at their victory over my team. Chris was one of the loudest and most boisterous, unable to contain his joy until he looked over and found me staring at the screen of my phone, blank and lost in my thoughts.

The image I was fixated on was one taken of he and I, smiling and happy, me gazing at the camera while Chris stood behind me, his face broke out in sheer adoration with his hands clasped around me, resting on my stomach outside of his trailer once he was cleared to leave after finishing his shots the Friday before last…it was a picture that showed most of our bodies and showcased a straight on look at my belly and the little hitchhiker I hadn’t been aware of inside it.

The movement of sneakered feet stepping into my peripheral vision preceded the clearing of a throat. Backing out of my Photos app, I tried to discreetly wipe away a tear as I set my phone screen down on the cushion next to me. Looking up, my eyes met Chris’ as he offered a small smile, saying, against his will, “Your team played well. It was only a ten point difference…in case you wanted to know.”

“Thank you for not gloating.” I said, hoping the crack in my voice wasn’t as audible to him or anybody else close by, adding once I braced myself and got my courage wrapped tight around me, “Or I’d have to throat punch you, and I really just don’t the energy for that right now.”

“I’m glad you stuck around…I wish you would have watched the game with me, that was the whole plan…but I’ll take what I can, I guess, at least until you tell me what the hell has you acting like somebody died…”

His last sentence was like a stab to the heart.

_‘If you only knew, you bumbling moose…’_ I thought, trying to breathe through the wave of tears that threatened to spill.

Reaching for my hand, Chris pulled me from the couch, saying “Come on…I got some friends to introduce my girlfriend to…”

* * *

I was standing, leaning against a wall deep in the belly of the stadium, a beer in one hand, headphones plugged in as I listened to music in the same vein as what had played during the game while Chris got his ‘bro time’ in the locker room while the team finished showering, changing and getting ready to come back to the ‘real world’ and the media was allowed to go in…until then, I was more than happy to hold up the wall listening to baby Britney Spears while taking swigs from my bottle. I got lost in ‘Baby One More Time’, tucking my phone in my pocket to free one arm to half-heartedly gesticulate through her choreography as best as I could remember from the video I had once memorized when the feeling of being watched had me peeking to the side, only to find Chris and a young, dopey man behind him, towering high above Chris’ six foot and half an inch height.

Closing my eyes tight, I frowned as I reached for the wires, pulling the buds from my ears.

“Katie, this is Gronk…” Chris began to say, but the behemoth behind him muscled his way forward, interrupting.

“Robert…but you can call me whatever you like, pretty lady…” He smiled, reaching for my hand to lift; placing a kiss to the back of my hand he shot a cheeky wink to me before wagging a brow in a flirt.

I felt my eyes trail up and down the beast before me, not wanting to laugh at his shameless flirting in front of Chris, but the tiny thrill of his attention was like a drug to my shattered and broken psyche, making the first full blown genuine smile stretch across my lips from the entire day up till now as Chris spoke.

“I know who you are…” I confessed quietly, in awe at the sheer size of the man in front of me and feeling a little flirty thanks to the numerous bottles and glasses of beer I’d sought relief in. Shaking my ponytail back over my shoulders, I stepped closer, telling the man towering above me as he bent to listen to me, “…I think everybody knows who _YOU_ are…”

The wide smile spread over his face, earning a hearty laugh as he stood back to his full height, telling me, “Well, that’s the price you pay for being the ‘fun one’, right? I’ve heard some stories about the kind of ‘fun’ you get into…we’d be a force to be reckoned with if we partied together!”

“Oh…I wouldn’t doubt that!” I muttered, leaning my head back to look up at him as I patted his arm and chest, exclaiming without even thinking, “HOLY SHIT! You’re HUGE! Daaaaayum…”. Looking from the top of his head down to the gigantic feet planted on the gleaming cement of the hallway, my filter couldn’t block one more ‘private’ observation with my inebriated state, pointing at his sneakers, I practically shouted, “Jesus fucking Christ…I bet you’re hung like a fucking elephant…”

The sound of flesh slapping flesh sounded, making a faint echo move outwards from our position near the door of the locker room as men walked out to head to their cars to leave after the cool down and media coverage as Chris’s palm connected with his forehead, a groan escaping his throat.

An unfamiliar masculine laugh ran out, Gronk’s face broke into a wide grin of amusement as he cracked up.

“Elephant mouse maybe! Dude…” He told Chris, clapping a hand on his shoulder, “She’s fucking great! Come on, Squirrel should be out soon, the room’s pretty much clear now so she can come in.”

“And you thought Hemsworth was burly…” Chris chuckled, reached over, taking my wrist and pulling me to the door, meanwhile I just kept eyeing Gronk’s back, shaking my head as I kept softly muttering, “Dayyyyyum…just damn.”

The overwhelming smell of testosterone and sweat hit my nostrils upon entering, and I flinched; those two scents coupled with what remained of my beer in hand had me flashing back to time spent in close quarters with the men of the stripping profession I knew after they worked…some memories more pleasant than others, some just too painful to relive period.

The two men continued their conversation, leaving me to look around as I attempted to hide my nose behind my hand as discreetly as I could to help combat the warring sensory memories trying to take over as I stopped my pacing, pulling up a Sodoku app to try and keep my anxiety at bay with focusing on something else…that was until I got clipped by Gronk as he sprinted past to catch a soft throw Chris lobbed at him, sending me to land on my ass and my phone to go skidding under a cabinet and trophy case.

Glancing up from the carpet, I leveled a fed up glare at Chris, knowing I could vent my frustrations, even silent ones on him thanks to our relationship, whereas I had only just met Gronk, and couldn’t rightfully lay into him without looking like a crazy bitch.

The larger man apologized over and over again, offering me a hand to help me up.

“Oh my God, are you okay? I swear, I thought I was going to clear you!” He asked.

“Not the first time I’ve been tackled…hopefully it’s the last, but I highly doubt it…” I sighed, looking at the small open space under the bottom of the cabinet and snorting. Turing to Chris, I held out my hand, looking at him expectantly.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked.

“I need the flashlight on your phone so I can fish mine out from where you inadvertently knocked it out of my hand…” I stated, cocking out a hip with a face that screamed, ‘Duh!’; silently, I couldn’t help but add, ‘Asshole…’

Chris sighed, reaching for his phone, turning on the bright light before handing it over as I dropped to the floor, crouching to look in the strip of darkness.

“Wow…” I breathed, scanning the space under the cabinet. A few condoms still in the wrappers littered the open space, about a dozen tubes of various types of Chapsticks, loose change and other items hid among the dust bunnies.

“What?” Gronk asked, curious and with a chuckle from behind me.

“Y’all need a better cleaning service…it’s a sight under here!” I explained as I pressed my face and chest into the carpet to afford more mobility and further stretching capability. “Damnit…”

“Well if this isn’t all of our wishes to find in the locker room after a big win…”

I froze, hearing a new voice approach; I suddenly became well aware of the position I found myself in-face down, ass up and swaying in the air on the floor of a men’s locker room. Trying to retreat, the angle wouldn’t allow for a hasty removal of my arm, and I could feel the denim covering my knees losing grip on the short pile carpeting, causing my legs to slip out from underneath me in a suggestive way, not only putting my ass on display but my crotch as well. I was laying spread eagle, legs bent like a frog’s on the carpeted floor of the Patriot’s locker room with Chris and two of the players he was closest with no doubt enjoying the show.

Groaning, I pressed my forehead to the bottom of the cabinet, connecting with my phone and managing to pull it closer to grab before wiggling out from under the bottom of the black hole, expelling a fed up breath at the entire male sex and their fixation on sex when it was the very last thing I wanted to think about in that moment.

“You weren’t kidding, bro! That’s a fucking work of art.” The newest voice chuckled as I pulled my arm loose, pushing up to my hands and knees before standing and brushing the front of my now open sweater and tank free of dirt and debris with my back facing the three men who seemed to forget I was even in the room as they talked about me.

“You know I can hear you three idiots right?” I reminded them, leaning my head to one side to try to pop my neck before repeating with the other side. Turning to face them, I raised a brow, silently questioning them as Chris spoke up.

“Jules, Katie…Babe, Julian Edelman.” He smiled, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Looking to Gronk, I pointed at Julian, asking, “Squirrel?”

One side of his face scrunched up as Rob nodded.

“Then I guess that makes you the Moose…oh God, you’re Rocky and Bullwinkle, aren’t you?”

Julian and Rob both began cracking up, with Chris cracking a smile and joining them. The unfamiliar blue eyes of the shorter man twinkled, as his brow lifted and fell towards me in a quick flash.

“Curves like that…I think that makes you Jessica Rabbit, Sweetheart…” He flirted, stepping closer to kiss my cheek with his hand brushing against my waist before slipping down over my hip. Stepping back, his eyes flicked down my body; pausing, a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his expressive mouth. “Wait…are you…is that a ‘9ers shirt you’re wearing? In the Pats locker room?” Julian asked, slightly scandalized and beyond intrigued as he looked back and forth between Chris and myself.

Chris nodded, explaining, “Yeah man…she refuses to come to the light and support the only team that matters…”

But Jules’ face broke out into a devious grin as his fingers pulled the lapels of my sweater away to offer a better look at the tank top, which dropped low, showing off an ample amount of cleavage and my little waist in the fitted cotton.

“Where you from Jessi?”

“NorCal.” I said, fighting the smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth. “Born in Sac, raised all over in the foothills and the central coast…”

“No shit? I’m from Redwood City…” He chuckled, letting go of one side to pinch his bottom lip between his fingers as he his eyes traveled over me, a glint of hunger and attraction apparent in the second before he looked to his locker. Jogging over, he grabbed one of the older practice jerseys off the high shelf in his equipment locker, one that had his number and last name emblazoned on the back.

“Here-” He winked as he walked back over, stopping in front of me while shaking out the shirt, nodding he adding, “-It’s not really cheating on them if you wear the jersey of a player that grew up in Niner Nation…even if he’s on a rival team.”

Reaching over, Jules pushed my sweater off my shoulder, making me take it off, he got my arms up, yanking the worn shirt down my arms, over my head and adjusted the hem before stepping back to admire his work.

Raising a brow at him, I had to hand it to him, he had balls…making a move with Chris less than arms length away.

“There…that’s better…” He grinned wolfishly, lifting his hand to twirl his finger, telling me, “Give us a spin…” 

I did as I was told, sneaking a peek at Chris over my shoulder as Jules whistled low, knocking his shoulder to Rob’s arm, speaking low but just loud enough for Chris and myself to hear, “Damn, my last name looks good on her, don’t you think, Gronk?”

Sucking my teeth, I couldn’t help smiling on the inside, shaking my head. Yes, the Patriots seemed to be the most attractive team in the NFL, and Jules was at the top of the list of most popular among the female fans not only for his team, but also the league and the fact he hadn’t stopped looking at me like like the Big Bad Wolf since he appeared just a moment earlier. I was sure part of it was out of trying to rile Chris up and part of it was honest attraction, but just how much of each, I wasn’t entirely clear on.

Gronk just laughed, shaking his head, telling Jules, “Dude…Chris is gonna fucking deck you! Look at his face!”

These two idiots, so similar to Chris is personality were a breath of fresh air in the stuffy and stale thoughts I was trapped in earlier, reminding me of all the hilarity, happiness and passion between him and I, and giving me a chance to set aside the guilt and heaviness I was living with in the last few days to just be me again, like how I was before my very foundation was rocked to the core on an airport toilet seat. I’d be lying if I tried to tell myself that since Chris woke me up in the hotel room that room, seeing his face made the hurt and emptiness a million times worse which added to my bitchy mood, unending apathy and angry outbursts throughout the day and that caused the most pain.

Gronk saying something broke me out of my thoughts; I shook my head clear of the toxic self analysis and joined in on the conversation.

“…wanna go grab a couple drinks, grab dinner maybe?” Rob asked, smiling at me once he saw I was present and listening.

Chris looked over, raising a brow in silent question as to whether or not I wanted to go out or head his mother’s house.

“Drinks sound good…especially with the two of you!” I said, quickly deciding they would give me more time to stall from telling Chris, and I felt a genuine spark of wanting to hang out with them, to act like myself in the slightest way, so I added with a small grin, “I’m sure you guys know how to have a good time, and I could really use a distraction right now after the horrible week I’ve had…”

Chris’ brows crashed down as he watched me, focusing intently, trying to read me and the tiny admission I gave to the two men I had just met and not him even after his constant prodding and inquiries throughout the week. Not looking directly at him, I caught him watching me, and knew he was trying to figure out why I was opening up more to the men I had just met over him.

Gronk’s face spread into that trademark grin, his brows wagging at me a second before he lunged forward, throwing me over his shoulder and sprinting out of the locker room, Chris and Jules hot on his heels.

* * *

_‘Something’s wrong. She’s upset, angry and can’t even look at you…she hasn’t been herself all week and she’s been too busy to talk whenever you call…and now she’s flirting and cozying up with Gronk and Jules…’_ Chris thought to himself, trying to understand all the contradictory behavior and outbursts he’d been on the receiving end of since he woke Katie up in the hotel room after arriving at the airport just after 10AM. His thoughts turned to his friend and the bold move he made back in the locker room a little while ago, putting one of his jerseys on her, challenging Chris’ claim with putting his own name on her and making a joke about her wearing it well. Looking up from where he stared at the label of his bottle of Heineken, Gronk’s shoulder bumped into Chris, drawing his attention as the kid laughed.

“She’s great, man! How’d you meet, again?” He said, looking out on the dance floor of the bar; Julian kept close to Katie throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, and once the music began playing, he stuck even closer. A tiny part of him knew it was Jules’ way of fucking with him, riling him up, but the hairs on the back of Chris’ neck prickled in warning that this was a potential situation.

“I saw some shit about you and a mystery chick on TV about a month, month and a half ago…she’s cool, man! A little sad and serious…lost in her head, but she said she had a bad week, so I guess I can’t hold that against her…everybody’s got shitty weeks, right?”

Lifting his bottle, Chris explained to Rob, retelling the story of how he and Katie met; the younger man just laughed and enjoyed the tale, turning to watch what was happening out on the floor as Chris continued.

“I went to Vegas to be with her when the tabloids and Hollywood shows picked up on her…not even four days after she left L.A. and I was loading up my dog and driving in to see her…she was so upset with the Perez Hilton bullshit, I had to!” Chris told his friend, concealing the hurt at watching his girlfriend out enjoying herself so fully with another man when she had been full of venom towards him throughout the day…something wasn’t right and it was in regards to him, that was the only explanation he could conclude. “She spent a couple of days with me and my family over Halloween…they fahking love her! Then last weekend, I flew her out to Atlanta-”

“What about you, bro?” Rob asked, one side of his mouth curling as he tilted his head to the side, watching Chris. “You love her?”

Smiling softly, Chris chuckled, his body swaying.

“Yeah. I do…a lot, actually.” He answered, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, staring down at the floor.

“Does she know it?” Rob asked honestly, a massive hand clapping on Chris’ shoulder while the other pointed between them out onto the dance floor to Jules and Katie, Rob explaining, “Because I hate to tell you…Jules is legit making moves on her. He mentioned he picked up on the tension between the two of you earlier, and she’s been receptive, so…”

Swallowing hard, Chris looked up from his lap to Gronk before the sound of Katie’s laughs out on the floor caught Chris’ attention, a sound he had been well aware of not hearing once since Atlanta; instantly the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, his senses on high alert that something really wasn’t right. Jules had spun her out and was pulling her back, holding her body close as the song ended and another started up.

The rhythmic knocking of The Beach Boys’ ‘Kokomo’ began filling the bar, and Chris’ face fell flat as he saw Katie step into his friend’s body, pressed close as the first verse started, her hand in his and her arm around his shoulder as Julian’s hand dipped low, splayed to keep her pressed against him as the chorus and the suggestive beat had them swinging their hips in tandem, a wide smile on her face, and reaching her eyes as she sang along with the lyrics of the chorus, pressing her face into the side of Jules’.

_**‘Aruba, Jamaica, ohh, I wanna take ya…to Bermuda, Bahama, come on Pretty Mama…’** _

_‘That doesn’t look ‘exclusive’ to me…’_ His Brain sneered as Katie got into the song, leaning back and smiling at Julian with the same look she usually leveled him with, the look that screamed she was hungry for more intimate activities. Jules widened his stance, pressing a thigh between her legs, making Chris see red.

_**‘We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slooooow…That’s where we want to go…way down in Kokomo…’**_ the song sang; Julian wore a smug smirk, winking at Chris as he dipped Katie, holding her as she leaned back swinging her long loose hair before he yanked her back up. Her arms snaked around his neck just as Julian’s hands circled her hips, holding her tight as she led them in a tight circle to the sexy rhythm, faces pressed close together, laughing as they stared into one another’s eyes as hips rolled and pelvises grinded as they dirty danced right in front of him.

_‘Something’s up…she’s not acting like herself…and she’s pretty much blitzed…something’s wrong. Really, really wrong…’_ His Heart kept muttering repeatedly as he sat rocking himself back and forth in the corner.

_‘Yeah, she doesn’t fucking love you, that’s what’s wrong! She’s dropping you for a football player…’_ His Brain screamed, throwing an arm out at the sight before him. Jules kept looking over, making sure Chris was looking before leaning in and whispering in Katie’s ear; he got a hearty laugh out of her with whatever he had told her, making her wrap her arms more tightly around him as she dipped low, swinging her hips before disengaging and turning in his arms. Watching her shake her ass and grind on Julian had his heart stop and sputter as one of his hands settled low on her stomach, getting too close to her crotch for Chris’ liking…then he noticed a hand slowly making it’s way up her side, spanning the expanse of her body just under her breast.

As quickly as Julian’s hands arrived, they were pulled back to more appropriate locations and Gronk made his way out to the floor, breaking up Katie and Jules.

The larger man leaned down, whispering in his friend’s ear, pointing back to the bar before he shoved Julian away and led Katie over to the Jukebox, pulling his wallet out as they walked. Julian took a few steps, walking backwards to keep the brunette in his sights while she walked away. Turning, he jogged up the few steps that separated the bar from the dance floor, smiling at the woman behind the counter and waving at the guys that called out their congratulations in the game. Taking up the stool Rob had vacated, he ordered a beer.

“What the fahk are you doing, Jules?” Chris asked through gritted teeth. His hand was clasped tight around the fresh bottle he worked on, only a few sips missing, grip strong enough that he had to remind himself to relax or risk a trip to the E.R. when the bottle shattered in his hold.

“Thanks Doll!” Julian smiled as the woman working set his bottle in front of him, her own flirty smile cast on him as she lingered a second longer than normal. He lifted the drink, taking a swig as he turned to Chris, finally answering once he swallowed. “What are you talking about, Evans? I’m just dancing with her…”

“Bull-fahking-shit you’re just _‘dancing’_ with my girlfriend-” Chris growled, glaring at him. “-Don’t think I’m not aware of what you’re doing, Jules…you can have anybody you want, but not her. She’s _MINE_!”

“I don’t see a ring on her finger, bro…and she hasn’t exactly been saying no, so you might want to talk to her about that…” He said, lifting the bottle again while side eying Chris. Lips on the end of the neck, he tipped back for a drink; the glass hitting the wood of the bar preceded him adding, “Normally, I’m respectful of the Bro Code, but she’s pretty special-”

“No fahking shit!” Chris hissed, anger rising. The wide smile that broke out over Julian’s face ratcheted it up higher, and Chris thunked his beer down harder than he had intended, drawing attention to the stare down between Captain America and the Wide Receiver.

“-Like I was saying, she’s pretty special to you, and yes, I’m fucking with you, but she’s making it pretty damn easy to enjoy myself while I do it!” Jules confessed, raising his brows at Chris, silently asking is he believed him. Clapping a hand on Chris’ shoulder, Jules chuckled, saying as he brought his beer up once more, “Geez, bro! I got enough shit going on in my own life, I’m not trying to steal your girl…but just know, if I hear shit takes a turn south, I’m gonna be at the front of the line to snatch her up.”

“You about half the Marvel cast…” Chris muttered, taking a swig off his bottle. Julian threw his head back laughing at catching Chris’ words.

And that’s when Chris’ blood ran cold. The second a familiar guitar riff punched around the room and a cheer went up from the men at Def Leppard joining the atmosphere, Chris’ eyes grew round and he knew what was about to happen thanks to the show she put on the weekend prior in Atlanta…it was like the whole world was moving in slow motion as he turned back out to the floor and found Gronk plopped on a chair with Katie stalking around him, gearing up for what she did when inebriated and heard this song, give lap dances.

Scrambling out of his seat, Chris flew down to where Rob was planted, grabbing Katie round the waist to pull her off of him; throwing her over his shoulder, Chris began walking but not before he reached up and landed a loud and solid smack to her ass.

“PUT ME DOWN!” Katie shouted, smacking his ass in return as well as pinching him hard. Another slap echoed around them as Chris made for the hallway that led to the restrooms and back exit of the bar.

“No.”

“Put. Me. Down.” She growled.

“No. We need to talk.” Chris stated stopping at the door to the Men’s Room; pushing the door open, he checked that they would be alone, which thankfully they would as it was empty. Pushing it wide, he strode inside, dumping Katie back to her feet so he could lock the door. Turning to look at Katie, Chris tried to keep most of his anger and hurt concealed as he asked, “What the fahk, Babe?”

“You told me to have fun…I’m having fun.” She spat, narrowing her eyes at him as she turned her face away, crossing her arms under her breasts. Shooting him a glance, she sneered sarcastically, “Isn’t that what you wanted? Me putting on a show, showing off the ‘Wild Child’…that seems to be the first thing you tell people about me…”

“ **WHAT THE FAHK IS GOING ON WITH YOU?** ” He yelled, asking once more and crowding close. She stood her ground, facing him down with her own anger rolling off of her in waves. “Do you enjoy watching me see you act like you do with me for other men? With my friends? Watching you rub up against Jules, practically begging him to fuck you with me standing feet away?-”

He thought he saw her chin twitch, betraying her stoicism and tattling on her, telling Chris he was at the very least hitting the target with his words, even though he had absolutely no clue as to what that target was or what was driving her and the unusual behaviour she was exhibiting now and the through the last seven days, since they parted at the airport.

“-Katie, you know how I feel…and you pulling that shit, especially with guys I consider friends, I can’t even begin to express just how angry I am right now. If you aren’t happy, you need to talk to me…I don’t know what the FAHK happened in the week since I last saw you, but you need to talk to me! I’m not letting you…I’m not letting us go that easily.”

“I can’t talk to you about that…not right now…” She whispered, shouldering past Chris, but he caught her arm, stopping her.

“What’s so horrible you can’t talk to me about? I’m your FAHKING _BOYFRIEND_ , Katie!”

Her face broke, showing her sadness and the emptiness from earlier, breaking Chris’ heart in the midst of his loud venting. Her eyes lifted from the floor, but she couldn’t raise them to make contact with his, telling him she was really fighting with whatever is was she was battling with internally.

“I can’t. I just can’t…not here, Chris…not now.” She breathed, her face turning to wipe against her shoulder.

_‘Tears…if she’s crying, it’s bad…’_ His Heart whispered, confirming the seriousness of the sudden shift in mood. His anger and frustration was still roiling but the broken and defeated stature Katie wore, with her shoulders slumped and head bowed told him this wasn’t the time or place to continue venting or yell.

“Kay…Baby, I’m your boyfriend-” Chris spoke softly, turning her to face him as he gripped her arms, holding her at arm’s length as he bent to force her to look at him, but she kept resisting, breaking the quick gazes and turning her face away.

_‘She can’t fakhing look at you…it’s something to do with you.’_ His Heart deduced as his Brain joined in with, _‘FAHK!’_

“ **-LOOK AT ME!** ” He shouted; her head lifted up and her eyes gave away everything. Sadness, hurt, hollow and empty. Chris let go of one of her arms to touch her jaw as he spoke, “Baby, whatever it is, you can talk to me…this, whatever it is that’s going on with you, this isn’t you, and I’m worried. You _NEED_ to tell me what’s going on, I can’t do anything to help if I don’t know what’s going on!”

“I just want to go…I’m exhausted from putting on a show for you and your friends today…” She stated, barely audible but the tiles bounced the sound allowing him to hear her.

**“YOU SURE DIDN’T SEEM LIKE IT WHEN YOU WERE OUT THERE DOING YOUR BEST DIRTY DANCING IMPRESSION WITH JULES! OR WHEN YOU WERE ABOUT TO CLIMB INTO GRONK’S LAP FOR A FAHKING LAP DANCE!”** Chris couldn’t control the volume of his voice, and the room filled with his rapidly evaporating hold on his anger.

**“DON’T FUCKING YELL AT ME, CHRISTOPHER!”** She shouted right back, her arms lifting to knock his hands away with a surge of venom before she shoved at his chest. “ _ **YOU**_ wanted me happy, **_YOU_** wanted me to be all ‘smiles and happiness and rainbows out my ass’! I told you from the start I wasn’t in the mood to be your show-pony today, and you didn’t listen-” Katie asked, backing him up against the door. “-well how’s it feel to watch something you love and want slip out of your grasp, Chris?” She bellowed before her eyes rounded, tears welling up and her hand lifted to her mouth.

Staring at her, Chris was lost, confused as to what had happened between them to make her feel that way. The weekend before had been great, granted there wasn’t nearly as much sex as there usually was with his work schedule conflicting with that first day she was there in Atlanta…

“Get out of the way. I can’t stay in here…” She sobbed, pushing him to move, but she couldn’t budge him in her unfocused state. “ **MOVE!** ” She screamed.

“No.” He answered, getting fed up once again with her mercurial mood swings…that was his territory, she was the one that kept an even keel and talked him down from the edge; this turning of tables was entirely new and he didn’t know how to handle the situation other than attempting to remain calm while allowing her to vent.

“ **Fine!** **You want to know what’s going on in my head right now? You wanna know how I feel?”** Katie growled, shoving him to one side; Chris fell over, not expecting her to shift his weight so easily. Catching himself with a hand to the wall, he righted himself but not before Katie succeeded in unlocking the door and escaping the privacy of the restroom, darting down the hall back to the bar and dance floor with Chris hot on her heels.

Katie bounded up the short flight of steps, wedging herself between Rob and Julian; her body turned to Julian’s, her hands grabbing his face and pulling him to her for a kiss. Chris skidded to a stop at the base of the stairs, his heart stopping and the world screeching to a halt as he worked for air, feeling like he took a ball bat to the gut. She had started the kiss, but Jules took her boldness as an okay, and soon the kiss turned intense with his mouth opening to invade hers. The feeling like the world just crumbled from under his feet, Chris just stood staring, not believing what was happening right in front of his eyes.

**“BRO!!”** Rob shouted, pulling Jules and Katie apart, glancing between the two of them and Chris, worry apparent on his face.

Julian took a moment to recover, his eyes warm and hungry for Katie after she initiated the first move, but Katie turned, stalking back down the stairs, stopping on the bottom one to be eye level with Chris when she hissed, poking sharply at his chest right over his heart, **“Like _that_ …only _WORSE_. Hurts doesn’t it? Stop asking, or I’ll fuck him right in front of you to drive that point home.”**

Jaw set, Chris ground his teeth, narrowing his eyes to keep from blowing up in the moderately packed bar, but when Katie broke the stare down, turning back to Julian and Rob to blow them kisses and hold her fist up close to her face, moving it to coincide with the movement of her tongue in her cheek before pointing at Jules with a wink. Chris had never seen her act like this, this version of Katie was a mean, vindictive bitch and he didn’t like it.

“We’re done, night’s over.” Chris breathed, shouldering her once again much to her protest, but the way she squirmed nearly toppled them both over. Setting her back on her feet, Chris gripped her wrist tight, just a tad too tightly he noted, hoping the pressure got her attention as he held his hand out to Gronk for Katie’s sweater, purse and his sweatshirt which the big man handed over.

“Don’t worry, I got you tonight. I’ll talk to you later…” Rob said quietly, slapping Chris’ bicep softly in farewell. Julian wisely stayed back, waving his goodbye without looking at Chris, rightfully hanging his head in guilt.

Storming out of the bar, Chris could feel the hold on containing his raging emotions was about to fail so he made a straight line for the car. Pulling the keys, he clicked the unlock button on the fob of the rental, walking Katie to the passenger side and ripping the door open.

“Get in.” He snarled, pointing at the interior.

She deflated, moving to take the seat somberly. Reaching over her shoulder, she drew the belt across her body, clicking it into place before Chris slammed the door shut, shaking the car violently as Katie drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs with her feet resting on the dash; her face pressed into her denim covered knees, hiding her tears as Chris opened the driver’s side door and joined her.

* * *

He was seething, hadn’t spoken since he demanded I to climb in, and I couldn’t hold it against him if I was being honest. He had every right to be…watching me kiss his friend on purpose just to punish him, make him feel just the tiniest sliver of the heartbreak, anger and emptiness that had been not only keeping me company recently but had seemed to take over my life.

The guilt and shame of hurting him so deep was a new addition to the party, and I spent the drive back to Chris’ mom’s house silent, curled up tight with my face pressed to the glass of the window, just staring blankly as lights and scenery rushed past in a blur when the car pulled to sudden stop.

Looking out the windshield, I recognized we were at a gas station on the outskirts of Sudbury.

“You don’t want to talk about whatever the fahk is wrong…I get it.” Chris said, turning to face me once he turned the ignition off, irritation growing as he leaned over the console towards me; pointing over his shoulder, he spat out, “But **THAT**! Why, Katie? I need to know…you wanted to hurt me, well you did a Hell of a job, so congratulations, Babe…but **WHY**?!?”

“Stop..please.” I implored weakly, curling tighter around my legs, turning away as far as the door and seat would allow.

“You were so happy last weekend…we both were! What happened? You make it seem like I did something to crush you so badly that you’re acting like somebody I’ve never seen, and I don’t like this side of you, Katie!” Chris said, bringing up the source of my personal Hell without even realizing this was the problem. “I don’t understand…if I did something to warrant the way you’ve been acting, that would be one thing, but I haven’t!”

“Yes, I **WAS** happy last weekend, Chris…” I conceded, voice muffled in my sweater.

“And you’re not now?” He asked, a hint of fear in his hushed voice.

I knew he was asking about ‘us’, but ‘us’ wasn’t exactly at the forefront of my mind, the knowledge I lost something we both wanted so much separately and had only briefly touched on together…it slayed my sense of worth as a woman, and not knowing how he would react to finding out I had not only been pregnant but lost it in the short time we’d been together…no ‘happy’ wasn’t even an option. I was broken, sad, worthless, depressed, exhausted, scared, and worried…and that was only a handful of the emotions racing around inside me at the moment, barely scratching the surface of the last week.

“Right now? In this exact moment?-” I shot back flatly, “-No…”

“Are you breaking up with me? Without even giving me an explanation as to why?” He asked in a panic, reaching over to turn me to face him.

“Chris…” I sobbed. He thought this was entirely to do with him and his actions, that I didn’t love him…which after the way I had acted earlier, I couldn’t fault him for immediately going there, but it shattered what still remained of my heart into a million tiny shards. “No…I’m not breaking up with you, but I really wouldn’t blame you for breaking up with me…”

“What are you talking about? Baby, I love you. _**I. LOVE. YOU**_!” He finally broke, voice cracking as he began crying, sitting back in the driver’s seat to get a hold of himself. “Seeing you look at Jules like that…seeing you act how you do with me, for me, watching you look at somebody else with the same hungry and wanting look you have for me…and then you doing that…Kay, it was the worst I’ve ever felt, watching my girl deal an ultimate blow to me out of spite! You won’t tell me what’s going on, but if that’s a fraction of what you’ve been feeling…let me in! Let me help…help take some of the pain and hurt away!”

“You can’t!” I wailed.

“PLEASE! Talk to me, Babe!” He pleaded, imploring over the console crying his own tears while I wiped away my own.

“I…” I began to say, but the words caught in my throat and I felt the start of an anxiety attack building at the weight sitting on chest and wrapping around my neck like a python.

“Babe…” Chris whispered, his hand reaching over to take mine from where I pressed it to my chest, trying to not hyperventilate. This was the moment. The moment I either had to spit it all out, showing my cowardice I hid behind all week out of fear for how he would react or risk losing him if I kept pushing him away.

“I lost it…” I wheezed, gulping for air.

“What? I don’t under…”

“I was pregnant.” I finally got it out, staring blankly ahead out the windshield. 

Blinking, everything was in slow motion as I turned to face him, repeating myself, to finally hear the words leave my mouth to someone other than doctors and nurses, “I was pregnant-” I croaked, my voice cracking as the dam broke and the last week of keeping everything from him caught up with me, the dawning realization of what I was about to say hit and I sobbed, “-I was pregnant, and I lost the baby…” Panting I buried my face in my hands, unable to hold back the raw shrieking wail of grief as I broke into hysterics, the crushing weight of the truth lifting and allowing me to let go of the tight reign I held on everything raging inside me after the day; awaiting the fate of our relationship as it balanced on the edge of a knife, I let go, keening, screaming, sobbing and wailing as the tears couldn’t escape me fast enough.

I was so overwhelmed with the emotions pulling me under, I hadn’t been aware of Chris scrambling out of his seat belt, throwing the driver’s door open, rounding the front of the car and ripping my door open. He reached in, popping the buckle on the seat belt, pulling me from the curled up position, falling back onto the asphalt unceremoniously to get me into his arms, trying to calm me down.

“Shhh…” He soothed , holding me tight, rocking me back and forth in his lap as one hand cradled my head into his neck. “I’m here…I got you, babe…I’m right here…”

Yowling through the tears, I tried curling in on myself once more, but Chris pressed me tighter to his chest; I could feel the rapid pounding of his heart hammering under my cheek.

I had no idea how long we sat on the cold ground of the gas station, the only sounds Chris made were soft ‘shhh’s’ and repeated whispered ‘Right here…I got you…I’m right here, Kay…’ in the time I sat in his lap, mourning yet again in the night cooling rapidly around us, the numbness I had become accustomed to allowing me to not feel the chill in the November air preparing for a storm as I bottomed out the reserve of all tears and emotions I had left. Thunder rolling in the distance rumbled low, echoing the way I felt; Chris’ hand petting my hair broke the blank stare into the woods beyond the edge of the parking lot while I panted and gasped, recovering from the build up of the roughest day I had experienced yet with overwhelming exhaustion dragging me down.

He leaned back, his hand turning my face to look him in the eye; those blue eyes that spoke volumes and gave him away so easily were so pained, so devastated as they looked straight through me, finally understanding as he nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and leaning forward to press his lips to mine in a ghost of a kiss.

“We should go…before the weather breaks.” Chris breathed, voice cracking. Another crack of thunder sounded, matching the crack my heart gave at seeing his break with the knowledge I just gave him.


End file.
